Hi everyone! I haven’t been super active on here (or on any of my other bookish accounts) because I’ve been slumping. Hard. It’s gotten so bad that every time I look at my TBR cart I start to feel sad, and I’ve even considered just covering it with a blanket so I don’t have to see it anymore.
The thing is, this slump has been very unlike any slump I’ve ever had before. Usually I just don’t feel like reading at all even though certain books do grab my attention, and I just sit on my reading chair thinking “wow I wish I felt like reading because I’d love to read [title]”. This time around though, I very much feel like reading. I want to read. But not a single book I own excites me.
So, this morning I thought it might be a good idea to clean out my Goodreads TBR so that I can feel like I’m still doing something book-related, because I miss them. I miss having books in my life and doing bookish things. And as I sat here, deleting lots and lots of books from my TBR, I realized that my reading tastes are shifting quite drastically and I truly don’t know how I feel about it.
Looking back on my reading journey, I read a ton as a kid and didn’t really have a preference and I just grabbed anything in the library that sounded even mildly interesting. When I started high school I lost all interest in reading for a while, until a friend lend me her copies of the Matched series and I’ve been reading YA books ever since, and started to become active in the bookish community in 2014. Over the past few years I’ve read a whole bunch of different YA subcategories, I fell in love with middle grade and comics/graphic novels, and even started reaching for Adult books more. And even though I don’t even read one single genre and do branch out quite a lot, I’ve become bored of the things that I’m reading and I’m craving something new.
One of the reasons why I feel so weird about this is because for the past 6 or so years I’ve mostly been consuming Young Adult books, and it’s become a big part of my identity. I blog about them, talk about them on Twitter, made friends because of them, my entire bookshelf is filled with them, etc. It feels so weird to think that you’re “growing out of” something that’s been such a big part of your life for so long now.
Another reason why I feel weird about it is because I have no idea what I want to read now. I’ve been so immersed into the YA community that I’m not quite sure what else is out there, and what I know of just doesn’t sound too interesting to me. I mean, I do like romance but it’s definitely a genre I have to be in a specific mood for, I don’t want to read thrillers because they’re just not good for my anxiety, most topics of contemporary adult books just don’t sound too interesting, etc. That’s also the main reason why I’m slumping; I know I don’t want to read the books I used to read anymore, but I have no idea what to read instead. No idea at all.
Does this mean I’m never going to read middle grade or young adult ever again? No, not at all. I love those books a lot and there are quite a few being published this year that sound ridiculously exciting to me and I definitely want to pick them up, but I just want a break from them for a little bit. I just want something new, and I’m not saying that every YA book is the same but after reading literally hundreds of them, a lot of them are starting to feel familiar, and I’m just craving something completely different. A new adventure, even if I’m not completely sure what that is just yet. But I’m really excited to figure it out.
(But I’m also kinda apprehensive because figuring out what I like will probably also entail me having to read books I don’t like or that just don’t work for me but let’s just ignore that because “I’m really excited to figure it out” feels like a good way to end this blogpost. So. There.)